Welcome Back From the Monkeys

**Real Time Report**

I am very displeased to report that, due to the unnaturally warm weather, the Mussoorie population of Rhesus monkeys has not migrated down the mountain for the winter as they are supposed to do. Additionally, they appear to have taken some sort of Assertiveness Training Course over the winter holidays.

I was sitting in the tea garden after lunch, minding my own business and talking with a friend. I could see a large monkey on the roof out of the corner of my eye but we were ignoring each other and this was fine. Then he got up and started ambling in our direction. I stood up and said firmly, but without any particular hostility, “Shoo!” and waved my arm at him. Did he turn and head back to where he was coming from like a good monkey? No.

Instead, he bared his teeth, arched his back, and lunged at me! Nasty bugger. It was only a feint, but I screamed and ran away nonetheless.

Monkey : 1 Kate : 0

*Sigh*